Inclusive and progressive sexual health education is kind of our thing, but sometimes even we, get stuck in the weeds and miss some very important 101 topics. Todays topic: fingering. Unpopular opinion, I prefer fingering to cunnilingus, it's true, I like to make out and be close to whoever I am hooking up with otherwise the top half of my body is cold and I am left to count dust bunnies on the ceiling. In honor of that I find myself wanting to dive into the lovely topic of fingering.
In this article, we'll delve into the art of pleasurable vulva stimulation, ensuring a respectful and inclusive approach to intimate exploration with our fingers.
Understanding The Anatomy of A Vulva
Before we embark on this journey, it's crucial to understand the anatomy of the vulva. The vulva consists of various parts, including the labia, clitoris, urethra, and vaginal opening. These individual parts will look different and feel different on every single body.
Creating a Comfortable Environment for Intimacy
Setting the mood is key to a positive experience. Ensure a comfortable and relaxed environment, where open communication is encouraged. Engage in conversations about desires, boundaries, and consent, fostering an inclusive and respectful atmosphere. It's important to remember it is easier to have the hard conversations when you are not totally turned on and horny already. Trust us.
Consent and Communication
Before engaging in any intimate activity, obtain clear and enthusiastic consent. Establish open communication channels, encouraging your partner to express their desires and boundaries. This ensures a consensual and pleasurable experience for all involved.
Exploring External Stimulation
Begin by exploring external stimulation, focusing on the outer areas. This can start from outer thighs, pelvis, buttcheeck and then into the vulva. You can gentle explore the labia both outer and inner and then move towards the clitoris. All of this being said, communicate and focus on what your partner is enjoying with auditory, or physical cues. If you are unsure. ASK. Also, using a lubricant for added comfort (we love Coconu) to help things get going. Remember the vulva takes time to become fully aroused. Experiment with different pressures and speeds to understand your partner's preferences.
OK, let's dive in here. The clitoris is a powerful erogenous zone deserving of attention. Utilize a variety of techniques, such as light circular motions, gentle taps, or rhythmic strokes, to discover what resonates with your partner. Encourage your partner to guide you towards their preferred sensations.
Anecdotal information points to the Clitoris being the star of the show however the labia, both major and minor, are sensitive areas that can enhance pleasure. Experiment with light touches, rubbing, cupping, grinding and gentle pulls to explore the diverse sensations these erogenous zones have when stimulated together. Always prioritize your partner's comfort and adjust your approach accordingly.
Vaginal Stimulation with fingers
So there is fingering the clit and exterior parts of the vulva and then there is vaginal stimulation which is also a form of penetration. If your partner desires vaginal stimulation, ensure you communicate openly and use ample lubrication. Also never forget to wash your hands and practice good nail hygiene (no hang nails please), as the vagina (and even the vulva) are highly sensitive areas made up of mucous membrane). First, begin with gentle insertion of one or two fingers, gradually finding a rhythm that prioritizes comfort, relaxation, and mutual enjoyment. You can use words to ask your partner what they like, some good examples are, faster, slower, harder, deeper, softer.
Remember, not all sexual interactions end in a climax. An orgasm does not have to happen for you and your partner to have had a fun, intimate connection. It's ok to stop when you are ready to be done.
After any intimate activity, engage in aftercare to ensure emotional and physical well-being. This may involve cuddling, verbal affirmations, or simply spending time together. For our vulvas we recommend using salve directly after anything with friction that may have caused micro-tearing. Aftercare fosters a sense of connection and ensures a positive experience for everyone involved.
Let me be explicit in that this is not an exhaustive list on how to start fingering someone. Exploring pleasurable vulva stimulation is a unique and personal journey, and can feel so many ways and can be the main event or part of a bigger experience.
Remember, communication, consent, and respect are the pillars of a satisfying and mutually enjoyable experience. Embrace the diversity of human anatomy and desire, celebrating the unique aspects that make each intimate encounter special.