By Taylor Neal
It’s getting to be that time of year when everything feels like it slows down a little, including our bodies.
As the weather gets colder and the days get shorter, we often feel the high energy of high summer trickling away from us, to be replaced by slower, softer days of curling inward and nesting for winter to come.
While for many of us, we may feel like our most sexy selves during the spring and summer, when layers start to come off and energy rises all around us (in the same way that our follicular and ovulation phases of our menstrual cycle bring about a more sexual energy), there is no reason why the slower, more inward months can’t feel just as sexy.
Read about our menstrual cycles and overall health
In fact, if we look at the seasons and our energetic fluctuations in connection to the body’s natural cycles, we can see a deeply rooted sense of sexuality as we enter the darker months.
In many cultures historically, the menstruating person is believed to be at their most intuitive and spiritually connected during their bleed, which upholds this phase as a powerful source of wisdom and connection. If we translate this into the seasons, regardless of whether we menstruate or not, fall and winter become a time for deep connection and intuition, therefore, a very powerful time to connect both with our own sexuality as well as with others.
The colder weather also just makes us yearn for closeness on a biological level, literally to stay warm and survive the elements. So we may not have as much physical energy on the day to day, but we sure have a lot of power and intimacy available.
As things heat up during spring and summer, we may feel called to more playful, explorative, dynamic sex both with ourselves and others, as the innocence and fertility of this time allows us to be more liberal with our energy.
To explore the sexual side of the darker half of the year, we may just have to pivot a little in regards to what sex might look like. We may need to draw our energy more inward, into closeness and slower, deeper connection.
There are lots of ways to continue exploring partnered sex for days when you just don’t have the energy to do all the acrobatics. And these positions can get just as freaky.
Sex doesn’t always have to be a performance, it can also be purely about connection.
Sex Positions for low energy days
Let’s just start with the classics.
Spoons
Spoons are a great way to feel very close and connected to your partner(s), without really having to move much at all. If you’re already cozy in bed watching a movie, Spoons is an accessible way to heat things up a bit, on the low.
How It Works
One partner lays behind the other, all partners involved are laying on their side facing the same direction. Bodies curl together like nesting spoons.
Whether using hands, toys, a penis, a strap, or any other form of sex, there is full access and mobility in this position with both arms and genitals.
Benefits
- Minimal movement required
- Useful for partnered sex with more than two partners involved
- Accessible for many folks with physical disabilities
- Both genital and anal stimulation is available simultaneously
- Easy access to dirty talk/whispering in your partner’s ear from behind
- Naturally a very connective position, increases feelings of intimacy
The Boat/Sphynx
This one is useful primarily for penetrative sex (either vaginal or anal), but can be modified to incorporate use of hands. I will say also, this one is great if you’re experiencing menstrual cramps, or just ate a large meal.
I particularly love using a mirror during this one, as both/all partners are able to see into the mirror clearly, which adds a nice layer.
How It Works
One partner lays on their stomach with their legs together, propped up on their elbows (sphynx pose, in yoga). I’d recommend propping the hips of the person on the bottom up with a pillow, for easier penetration and more G-spot stimulation.
Their partner will lay on top of them with their legs on either side of the legs of the person on the bottom, and hold themselves up with their arms extended, hands on either side of the person on the bottom’s body.
Penetration can happen from here either vaginally or anally. The two bodies together create the shape of a boat.
The person on top can also lower themselves down to reach underneath their partner’s body for simultaneous hand stimulation.
Benefits
- Minimal-to-no movement required for the person on the bottom
- Useful for partnered sex with more than two partners involved
- Accessible for many folks with physical disabilities
- Easy access to dirty talk/whispering in your partner’s ear from behind
- Can easily turn rougher/transition into more dynamic poses, when/if things heat up
- Great for more kink-based dynamics, as the person on the bottom can be fully pinned down and unable to move
Missionary Position
We have to give Missionary some love, it’s a timeless classic because it never gets old!
Missionary is great for all types of sex, and it’s extremely dynamic. It can be useful for super rough, energetic days, and equally for slow, more sensual sex.
How It Works
Simply put, one partner is on the top, and the other is on the bottom, facing one another.
Depending on the type of sex you are having, leg and arm positions will vary. Your heads will be relatively lined up and your torsos will face one another, possibly touching.
It is very accessible to use hands, toys, and penetration in this position, though it is a little less accessible for anal penetration. Anal toys can be easily incorporated however!
Benefits
- Minimal-to-no movement required for the person on the bottom
- Useful for partnered sex with more than two partners involved
- Equally connective with most forms of sex
- Great while using anal toys
- Accessible for many folks with physical disabilities
- Easy access to dirty talk/whispering in your partner’s ear
- Very accessible verbal communication
- Bondage can easily be incorporated
- Can easily turn rougher/transition into more dynamic poses, when/if things heat up
- Great for more kink-based dynamics, as the person on the bottom can be fully pinned down and unable to move
- Extremely connective and intimate, strengthens bonds
The Straddle
This one is best for toys and hand stimulation, as well as minimal movement, and more submissive-leaning folks.
Honestly, this one is super hot because everyone can watch, and no one really has to move much.
How It Works
One partner sits behind the other with their legs in a straddle out in front of them, so their partner(s) can sit in between their legs with their back to them. It’s ideal for the person behind to sit against the headboard of the bed to hold up the whole party.
The other partner(s) can sit in front, between their partner’s legs, and can spread their legs as well. The person behind will have very accessible reach to their genitals, breasts, and entire torso.
Use of vibrators, dildos, and other sensory toys is very accessible in this position. It’s also really nice because everyone’s hands are free, so lots of stimulation can be happening simultaneously in many areas. It’s also great for a little choke, if you enjoy experimenting with airplay.
Benefits
- Minimal-to-no movement required for all parties
- Useful for partnered sex with more than two partners involved
- Great for incorporating toys, especially vibrators and/or strokers
- Accessible for many folks with physical disabilities
- Easy access to dirty talk/whispering in your partner’s ear
- Bondage can easily be incorporated
- Great for building trust/strengthening intimacy/vulnerability
- Great for more kink-based dynamics, as the person on the bottom can be fully held still and unable to move
The “T”
This one is useful for all types of sex with minimal movement/effort required from any party, and the angles hit really well for everyone.
This one is particularly good if it’s hot or you don’t want your bodies too close together, as there’s not as much intimate touching involved.
How It Works
One partner is on their back, with their feet either up in the air, or their knees bent over their partner’s waist.
The other partner is laying on their side, below their partner, with their body lined up either so that penetration can happen, or so that toys/hands/mouths can be used to pleasure the person on their back.
From here, really any form of sex can happen, but everything is lined up nicely so you don’t have to do too much for things to feel good. If oral sex happens in this position, it could be useful to put a pillow under the hips of the person on their back, to prop them up and enhance pleasure.
Benefits
- Minimal-to-no movement required for all parties
- Useful for partnered sex with more than two partners involved
- Great for incorporating toys, especially vibrators and/or strokers
- Accessible for many folks with physical disabilities
- Can easily turn rougher/transition into more dynamic poses, when/if things heat up
- Particularly good if you want some distance between your bodies (if it’s too hot, if you’re not feeling intimate, or whatever other reason you may want some distance during sex)
Don't forget your aftercare. Use salve to help protect delicate vulva skin
Taylor Neal (They/She) is a Canadian multidisciplinary artist, writer, yoga and dance instructor and frontline sexual assault response worker, who uses creation and multimedia to gain deeper understandings of authentic human experience. Practically, Taylor combines their background in dance and performance, their passion for the written word, and their curiosity within contemporary visual art and photography, with their studies in Communications, Art History, Feminist Theory and Design for Theatre at Concordia University, and Fashion Design at RMIT University. Their cumulative artistic, somatic, and literary practice comes together as a holistic exploration of identity, movement, sexuality, and how the embodied subject navigates space and the natural world.
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