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I twist my back, leaning over to look at the naked girl crouching behind me clutching my phone, “Do you think you could get a little closer on my ass?” She scoots closer, snapping pictures mere inches away. Today is the first day we have met in person after numerous online chats, and we are becoming fast friends.
I never expected to find as much community on Onlyfans as I have in the past two and a half years I have spent on the platform. As an Onlyfans creator, I devote about half of my time in creating content and working with other performers. One of the ways that Onlyfans creators bring more traffic to their pages is to work with others in order to cross-promote within both creators’ fanbases.
Cross promotion has proven to be one of the most effective tools I use in growing my fans. The meteoric rise of Onlyfans, a subscription based 18+ website, over the past few years has generated throes of amateur porn makers. These collaborations between sex workers are less regulated than mainstream porn sets, which leaves the onus on the creators themselves to foster a safe and healthy work environment. There are Terms of Service on Onlyfans that prevent certain acts from being published on their website, but none of the Terms have anything to do with either consent or STI testing.
The sex work industry has a sharp learning curve, especially if you are producing what I like to call “farm-to-table porn” i.e. porn that doesn’t come from a major company, but is instead created from start to finish by one or more freelancers. It falls on more experienced creators to help out newbies, but there are no standardized safety practices in Onlyfans collaborations. People often learn with trial and error, but the stakes are high when dealing with others sexual safety.
FARM TO TABLE PORN
porn that doesn’t come from a major company, but is instead created from start to finish by one or more freelancers
Before the Scene: Get Tested & Disclose Your Status
The CDC recommends getting tested for STIs once a year, more if you are sexually active with multiple partners. As an online content creator, I get tested every two weeks, or before a new partner or collaboration. Often sex workers get branded as sexually unsafe due to our profession, but I have found that sex workers almost always tested more often than those in other professions.
With our sexual safety and our jobs so closely intertwined, there isn’t room for uncertainty about your status. The most important thing, and this is not just for sex workers, is to be upfront with your partner and disclose your status. Everyone should be able to tell you when their last STI test was and the results. Getting tested every two weeks may not be feasible for everyone, but you should get full STI panels, including HIV, as often as possible.
READ MORE How to Plan for Your OBGYN Appointment Like An OBGYN
During the Scene: Check Ins & Continued Consent
“So we’ll start kissing, then some nipple play and licking, and then you’ll sit on my face and THEN use the wand?” Sometimes, planning out my scenes can feel silly. However, just as you should in any sexual encounter, performers need to get consent from their partner or partners before continuing with a scene. My personal practice is to first have a brainstorm of what we would like to do in our scene, usually days or weeks before. I ask my fellow performers what they are comfortable with and I tell them what kinds of acts I am comfortable with so everyone involved is on the same page. Then we do a rough outline. The day of, we revisit how we are both feeling. Bodies change every day, and so does what people are ready to consent to. We plan the full progression of the scene with one another before it begins, down to who will kiss what body part when, and dialogue.
Now, I know that this type of planning is not possible for regular sexual encounters, which is why asking for consent before any sexual advances is the best practice. I like to even find ways to make consent and check-ins during scenes sexy! You could say, “Do you like that?” or “Do you want more?” These are some ways you can make sure your partner is comfortable. In my opinion, it is always better to check in more than less, because you want to make sure your partner is having a safe and pleasurable time, whether it be in work or play.
After the Scene: After Care & Communication
After the scene, I ask my partner how it felt for them, or if there was anything that they didn’t love or I could have done differently. It’s important to come into these conversations with an open mind, because just because you liked doing something doesn’t mean your partner did. Honestly, that can be hard to hear! But the best way to know better for the future is to ask now.
Post-scene, you need aftercare for your body as well as your brain. I always use the Momotaro Apotheca Salve as I find it really helps stave off any irritation that could have happened during the scene. I often offer it to partners as well, no matter their genitals. I find it works really well to soothe and restore after any sexual acts or even just on an “off” feeling day.
To be clear, when I first started on Onlyfans, I had none of this information, and there was really nobody to teach it to me. I learned from watching other creators and asking them about their practices. I made mistakes, as everyone does, but my community held me up and supported me in my journey.
Soothe Irritation with Salve
Ivy applies the rich multi-use Salve to her vulva to stave off any irritation that could have happened during the scene. She'll even often offer it to partners as well, no matter their genitals.
SHOP SALVE
Quick Tips for Every Sex Sesh
Before Scene / Sex Sesh, Communication is Key
Be upfront with your partner/s and disclose your status. Everyone should be able to tell you when their last STI test was and the results. Getting tested every two weeks may not be feasible for everyone, but you should get full STI panels, including HIV, as often as possible.
Set boundaries before doing anything. Tell the other performers what kinds of acts you are or aren’t comfortable with, and ask them theirs.
During Scene / Sex Sesh, Check Ins Welcome & Encouraged
Bodies change every day, and so does what people are ready to consent to.
Find ways to make consent and check-ins sexy! You could say, “Do you like that?” or “Do you want more?” to make sure your partner is comfortable.
Post Scene / Sex Sesh
Aftercare for your body and your brain. Slather on some Salve after a rough romp to soothe any irritation.
Ask your partner/s how it felt for them, or if there was anything that they loved or didn’t love or you could have done differently.
Keep an open mind. Just because you liked doing something, or had a great time doesn’t mean your partner did.
Remember it’s okay to make mistakes, and we’re all learning as we go.
The most important thing to remember is staying on the same page. Don’t get ahead of yourself or your partner so everyone involved feels comfortable, safe, and heard.
Hiring a sex worker should always be an option, but in many places around the world — including all of the United States, except for a few counties in Nevada — sex work is criminalized.
Let's continue to fight for the decriminalization of consensual adult sex work so that our erotic laborers have safe spaces to support themselves and offer their services. Learn more about sex worker laws around the world & how to support & hire a sex worker online & IRL.
Related Reading
8 Reasons Why You Need to Support Sex Workers, Now & Forever
What Boundary Setting in BDSM Culture Can Teach You About Life Outside of the Bedroom an interview with Lina Dune @askasub
YSK: Setting Boundaries & Sex Aftercare
How to Soothe & Prevent Pain During & After Sex
STI Testing & Resources
Herpes Simplex Virus: What You Need to Know
10 Steps to Understanding and Supporting Someone (Including Yourself) with Herpes
How To Prepare For Your OB/GYN Appointment Like An OB/GYN
Meet the Author
Ivy Vernalis (she/her) is a sex worker and writer from Brooklyn, NY. She is passionate about the decriminalization of sex work and her plants. Follow her @plant.gal.