Everyone feels self conscious now and then. And despite what the Internet and mainstream media may tell show us, there’s no such thing as a perfect body. What with the flurry of body positivity movements and influencers popping up, we know you already know this.
But body positivity calls for body confidence, which is still (mostly) rooted in what you look like. It’s another item on your long to-do list; brush your teeth, eat a healthy breakfast, love your belly rolls today; celebrate your thighs. And loving your body’s so called imperfections isn’t all that more realistic than the “perfect body.”
The contours of your body do not define how sexy you are; intelligence, kindness, and humor are all incredibly sexy. So instead of focusing on what you look like, shift your perspective to what your body is capable of.
Your butt dimples and smile lines and stretch marks and freckles are just roadmaps of a life well lived. You’re beautiful, and smart, and darn sexy, naked or not, because the confidence we’re talking about has nothing to do with your body’s physicality, although it definitely can be — nipple hairs, and birthmarks, and all!
Now we know it’s easier said than done. Stripping down can feel extremely vulnerable, even if it’s just you. Being comfortable with another person naked involves learning how to be ok with yourself naked. You don’t have to be naked with anyone else to validate your worth.
After all, the most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself. And while it might feel easier to rely on external validation, you are worthy of pleasure and joy and love with or without another person. True confidence is an inside job.
Nurture Your Self-Esteem with Positive Affirmations
We spend much of our lives worrying about what other people think, wasting time crafting the perfect sext, or editing our photos to perfection. But the only opinion that really matters is the one we have of ourselves. Look in the mirror, admire your body and what it can do, and remind yourself how much you’ve been through together — and the endless possibilities of where you can go from here — in both the literal and figurative sense.
You can also start practicing gentle self-talk. You wouldn’t (at least you really shouldn’t) be friends with someone who constantly puts you down, or points out your past mistakes, so if and when you catch yourself acting like a jerk to yourself, pause and reframe the situation as if you were talking to a good friend.
Unfollow People That No Longer Inspire You
Aspiration and inspiration are very different. The Internet is full of retouched bodies and expectations that are unrealistic for the majority of people. Unfollow accounts that don’t serve you or make you feel worse about yourself. An easy way to tell the difference is if they inspire you to be a better you — not aspire to be them.
The people you consistently spend time with IRL affect your wellbeing and self-esteem too. It’s okay to let go of the people in your life as you grow and change as a person. Also, if the person/s you’re romantically or sexually involved with doesn't think you’re sexy, don’t give them the privilege of seeing you naked. You’re a gift only those deserving of you get to unwrap.
It’s no secret that stress is no good for us. In fact, we went into detail how stress affects even our most basic bodily functions like digestion. Basically stress produces excess cortisol, which is a necessary hormone for a variety of functions like metabolism and blood sugar and memory formulation. But excessive amounts are pretty much poison, wreaking havoc on nearly all of your body’s processes, and can even increase your risk of future health issues, like lowered immunity, anxiety and depression, irregular, heavier, or more painful periods, and even heart disease.
We know, “relaxing” is easier said than done, but there are various things we can do to combat stress that are good for our minds and our bodies. Meditation, going on long walks, deep breathing, and bath soaks are all activities that help oxygenate our bodies and organs which means good fresh blood to ALL body parts. Because when you physically feel good, you feel more confident.
Look, this can mean a lot of things. Finding the perfect white T-shirt, new lingerie, or a fancy dinner are all great options, but spoiling yourself doesn’t mean you have to splurge to get something of value in return.
Maybe it’s asking your partner for a massage, or exchanging compliments. Maybe it’s just binge watching your favorite show in your underwear. Or dying your armpit hair. Or putting an hour (or two) aside to masturbate — foreplay, and your favorite ethical porn pick and all. A little confidence and serotonin to you, from you can be the best medicine.
Remember You Define What Sexy Is
Social media, movies and film (the X-rated kind and even the regular shows we Netflix’n’chill to) set up some pretty unrealistic narratives when it comes to what is “sexy” and how we feel about our bodies. Orgasms aren't always earth shatteringly hot, makeup isn’t always perfect, candles aren’t always lit. Being naked can feel awkward because sex can be awkward. And that’s okay; that’s normal. Just remember that you also don’t have to be naked with anyone else to validate your worth, or call you sexy. There’s not really one thing that makes you sexy and your ‘sexiness’ is not defined by the size or shape of your body. You get to define it. Your worth comes from within.
Shop the Story
Wear Nothin' But SHOP VAGINA SOCKS
Soothe Stress SHOP THE DAILY DUO
Find Balance SHOP PROBIOTIC
Relax & Rejuvenate SHOP TONIC
Momotaro Apotheca and its materials are not intended to treat, diagnose, cure or prevent any disease. All material on Momotaro Apotheca is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider for any questions you have regarding a medical condition.