So you’ve decided to have a baby, and it may or may not be something you’ve planned. At any rate, here’s what you may need to know. (And no judgement for those who decide not to keep their pregnancy; your decision is valid and we support you.)
We'd like to make it clear that we’re intentionally refraining from using the terms woman, mother, or any other gendering vocabulary in our discussion of pregnancy. It is a myth and/or misinformation that transgender and non-binary people cannot get pregnant. While testosterone generally blocks ovulation, trans men can get pregnant while taking it—especially if it isn’t taken regularly. We support anyone who decides to get pregnant and firmly believe that gender shouldn’t be a limiting factor to parenthood.
We compiled a condensed guide covering everything you or your partner can expect during pregnancy and after birth.
- nausea and vomiting
- cravings and aversions
- heightened sense of smell
- mood swings
- decreased energy
- round ligament pains
- nipple & breast/chest changes (can also start in first trimester)
- stretch marks
- baby movements
- strong(er) kicks from the baby
- swollen feet and ankles
- leaking breasts/chest
- frequent urination
- increased vaginal discharge (Take note that this is a very common symptom during pregnancy, but if you're experiencing extreme discomfort, you should consult with you physician, practitioner, midwife, or doula. It could just be due of your discharge, or it could be a sign of an infection like a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis, herpes or HPV. You may also be experiencing irritation from a soap, lotion, or detergent you’re using. Many of Momotaro’s most enthusiastic fans are pregnant women who have turned to our products for organic ingredients and relief during this sensitive time.
Postpartum (Sometimes referred to as the Fourth Trimester)
- lochia (vaginal discharge or bleeding)
- "baby blues” (feeling sad after pregnancy)
- changes to breasts/chest as a result of milk production. This may include soreness or leaking.
- risk of postpartum depression
- change in relationship with partner and support system
- shift in brain chemistry to “parent brain”
This is truly a wild time: you're thrown into a foreign world or caring for someone completely dependent on you.
Bleeding during pregnancy is normal.
A common sign of pregnancy can be a missed period, but you might also bleed during initial stages of pregnancy. We know this can be confusing if you’ve never been pregnant.
Bleeding can occur when the egg travels down the fallopian tube and implants into the uterine lining. This is referred to as implantation bleeding or spotting. The blood is usually brown or pink in color, not bright red like menstrual blood. If this concerns you at any point, please consult a midwife or doctor.
Shitting the bed (literally)
The pelvis is only so large, and can only hold so much material. The same muscles that you use to push a baby out are the same ones you use for a bowel movement (our bodies are so much fun! LOL). If it happens, it’s usually just a little bit and is nothing to worry about.
Your doctor or midwife and their staff are so used to this, and they’ll be psyched to see it! It means you’re doing it right. They’re always more concerned about the blood and the childbirth process. They just want to make sure everything is okay with your birth so, seriously, it's NBD!
Episiotomy and/or perineal tearing
The perineum is the area of skin between your vagina and anus. It is really good at stretching to get out of the way for a baby, but sometimes (generally 10% and dropping), the doctor needs to surgically cut this area (episiotomy) to make room for childbirth.
More than likely, this area tears naturally during childbirth. Tearing is normal and episiotomies can be helpful in true emergencies, and generally both require stitches afterwards that heal well and relatively quickly.
If you're experiencing discomfort in any way, we suggest using our salve, which is safe to use during perineal healing.
Cesarean Birth (C-section)
Cesarean birth delivery is a surgical procedure used to deliver a baby through incisions in the abdomen and uterus. It is one of two ways to give birth and is in no way easier, less important or a “failure” when compared to vaginal birth.
Cesarean birth can be a miraculous and life saving procedure, but with the national rate of cesarean delivery in the US hovering around 32%, while the World Health Organization (WHO) recommends a rate of 10-15%, it’s clear that some of these cesarean births are not truly medically indicated and lead to more difficult recoveries and complications postpartum.
So how do you make sure not to fall into that statistic? Start by choosing a doctor or midwife that you trust and who is up-front about their personal c-section rate. Next, make sure to arm yourself with education in the form of a comprehensive childbirth class and make sure your birth team is there to support you and love you through the process. Be a real participant in your own labor by asking questions, asking for more time, and clarifying things that are complicated.
A cesarean birth can be the best choice for you and your family for many good reasons including (but not limited to) issues with the placenta resulting in distress to the baby., health complications in the pregnant person such as severely high blood pressure or history of uterine surgery, a very long labor with little progress, or completely unexplained distress to the baby. If a cesarean birth is what is best for you and your baby, here are some things to know to maximize your birth and postpartum experience:
- Ask for a “gentle” of “family centered” cesarean. This usually includes immediate skin to skin with your baby in the operating room and the ability to have more than one support person (i.e. partner and doula) in with you during the procedure. While not all hospitals allow for this, the more consumers (aka you!) ask for these things, the sooner change will come.
- Have some kind of essential oil to bring with you into the operation room—it smells funny in there, so make it nicer for yourself. Peppermint oil is great, or try our tonic with Cedar Wood, Sweet Orange, and Oregon Grape, which is not only soothing for the skin, but will also make your surroundings "smell like a dream" (according to our beloved customer Rylee).
- Initiating nursing might be a little more difficult in the first 24 hours due to a sore belly and a harder time moving around. Ask for help from nurses, a lactation consultant, or your doula. An use lots of pillows to support your baby and your body.
- Go sloooow with activity and movement during your recovery. Walking around is important, but giving birth is a big deal to recover from, not to mention with the addition of major abdominal surgery! Recruit friends and family to come by to help even more than you would have with a vaginal birth.
Things to expect after birth (both vaginal and cesarean)
- Constipation This is very common after pregnancy due to pain-relieving drugs, anesthesia, and fear of tearing stitches.
- Perineal and vulvar soreness Regardless of episiotomies and tearing, the vaginal and perineal tissue does a lot of stretching during birth and swelling and soreness is super normal for the first couple of weeks post-birth.
- Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids are the swelling of a vein in the rectum from pregnancy. Some people also get them from the strain and pushing during pregnancy.
- Hormonal Shifts Mood swings are common (read more on "baby blues" below). You also might be sweating more and temporarily have some hair loss, which is perfectly normal and usually only lasts for a few weeks.
Literally everything about your life will change for awhile and you’ll feel totally insane and good and bad and everything in between. Just know these feelings are normal and no pregnancy or birth is the same.
Lochia is a type of vaginal discharge after giving birth that may contain blood, mucus, and uterine tissue. It has three main stages and can continue four to six weeks after childbirth.
- Lochia Rubia (or Cruenta) The first discharge stage is composed of blood, fetal and uterine membranes. Like a heavy period, this discharge will be bright red because of the large amount of blood. This will last 3-5 days after birth.
- Lochia Serosa. This second stage of discharge has thinned and turned pink or brownish in color. This contains white and red blood cells and fluids that prove healing is happening. This should continue through the 10th day after delivery. If this stage continues more than a few weeks after birth, it can indicate postpartum hemorrhaging and should be reported to your physician.
- Lochia Alba The third discharge has turned white or yellowish-white. It normally occurs during the third to sixth week after delivery. Any kind of excessive bleeding or discharge after a couple months post birth can indicate damage to the tissue and should also be reported.
Should “baby blues” last longer than a few days to a few weeks, you might have a postpartum mood disorder. The feelings of nervousness and anxiety begin to increase, and mood swings become more intense.
Symptoms can include:
- depressed mood/severe mood swings
- excessive crying
- difficulty bonding with your baby
- insomnia (or excessive sleeping)
- intense irritability
- hopeless or extreme fear of becoming a good caregiver
- anxiety and panic attacks
- thoughts of death or suicide
Follow up questions
Having questions is very normal, and you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable reaching out to your midwife, doula, or doctor.
How long till I feel like myself again?
What should my calorie intake be?
When can I start exercising again?
How long before I can have sex again?
What if I don’t want to have sex?
Will my breasts go back to normal?
Why am I losing hair?
What if I’m feeling sad after pregnancy?
What if I’m scared I won’t make a good caregiver?
These are just a few examples of common questions you can (and should) ask your midwife or doctor. That being said, remember that nothing is off the table and all of your feelings are valid. Don’t be afraid to turn to other forms of support within your community for the care you deserve; therapists, postpartum doulas, and parent friends can and will be super helpful during this time of immense change.
We support healthy healing after birth. You got this. To learn more, ask us anything, or read Jay and Jamie's story, both of whom are transgender and made the decision to have a baby. If you're still unsure about anything, learn more with doula and lactation specialist Yael Borensztein, who is also available to answer any questions you might have.