It’s that time of year: the time you go back to your hometown for a few days longer than you probably should and are currently making plans over social media to meet up with all your childhood friends and crushes whose numbers you’ve lost through the years. Happy Holidays, ya’ll.
Between chugging coffee to get through all the political debates your family promised they wouldn’t have, repeating the same two lines about your life to distant relatives, and trying to get some sleep while your dad snores in the other room, there’s always the long nights in between you’re probably planning to fill with catching up with old friends, and (if you’re not in a committed monogamous relationship) ex-lovers. We’re talking sex with your ex.
SALVE Get a little too frisky? Have one too many sugary drinks? A dime sized amount of our coconut oil based salve has been touted a cure-all from everything from BV to yeast infections, to irritation from a night of too many rounds (of booze, or sex or…you get the idea).
While it seems that the majority of people warn against sleeping with an ex, it’s not always a recipe for disaster. For some, it can be an enlightening and fulfilling experience—but only if you’re prepared for the emotional and physical side effects, which, we repeat, are not all bad.
It’s easy to romanticize a former partner, but remember: there’s a reason they’re an ex. A final foray into sexual pleasure with someone you’re already familiar with and trust can be exactly what you need for any closure that might have been left open ended; it’s the final itch that you just couldn’t scratch.
Just be careful you don’t reopen any emotional wounds when you’re just trying to scratch that itch. Sleeping with someone can be a spiritual experience, but sometimes it’s merely a physical act for sexual release. Sex with an ex can prolong the process of moving on and welcoming new relationships into your life. Before stripping down and settling in for a not-so-silent night, we implore you to make sure that both parties are on the same page with an open and honest conversation about everyone's expectations.
We encourage everyone to explore old and new relationships, as long as you take care of yourself first and always always always practice safe sex with condoms and consent. Here’s to spreading holiday cheer and not, you know, anything else.
LOLA CONDOMS These natural rubber latex condoms are approved by gynecologists and use100% locally sourced medical-grade silicone oil for protection in a pinch.
TONIC Maintain your sanity and treat yourself to a bath away from it all. A few drops of the jojoba oil base tonic with Sweet Orange and Oregon Grape help you relax and rejuvenate after a long weekend. We also recommend applying topically to skin (but never internally!) after a shave; the Cedar Wood stimulates blood flow to prevent ingrown hairs and acts as a natural aphrodisiac.
PARADE BOYSHORTS Slip into these super soft and ultra-light boyshorts with silky mesh stripes on the side that stay seamless under clothes and are a standout without anything to cover them up.
VESPER VIBRATOR It’s finally socially acceptable to wear your sexuality on your sleeve, or, in this case, your neck. This sleek vibrator from Vesper is designed to make a statement—not a sound—and you’d never know this little powerhouse can accompany you and your partner(s) for up to 40 minutes of play. 4 speeds, 2 modes. It’s a holiday stocking stuffer you’ll want to keep for yourself.
MAUDE LUBE Made with moisturizing aloe, Maude’s 100% organic lubricant is pH-balanced and free from glycerin and parabens that often cause irritation. It’s safe to use when trying to conceive and can be used with other toys and condoms
HYDROSOL Our water soluble toning spray is great post-shave, post-workout, and definitely post-sex with your ex. We spray this stuff everywhere: on our body, on our clothes, on our yoga mats. It's part of our full body regimen and your ideal travel partner to get you through long flights.
ILLEGAL MEZCAL If you have to drink to get through the holidays, you might as well support an alcohol company that donates to good causes. Spread the cheer with this sustainably crafted mezcal, which supports causes that fight for ending climate change. Good booze, for bad decisions. ;)
There you have it—a holiday starter pack for the good and the bad. Because we know that's what the holidays are all about.
Illustrations by Kitsch Harris